"Endings are elusive, middles are nowhere to be found, but worst of all is to begin, begin, begin." (Donald Barthelme).......“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.”(Philip Roth).......“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” (Stephen King).......“Writers live twice.” (Natalie Goldberg)....."The business of life is the acquisition of memories" (Downton Abbey)

Friday 23 October 2015

Episode 23 - Off to Wales


Jay  Salerno did not turn up at Cleo’s cottage, much to everyone’s relief, though Gloria had threatened to give the guy a piece of her mind if he did.
There was however, plenty to take everyone’s mind off Jay Salerno next morning. Robert and Gloria were busy in the shop well before 8. All the preparations for the weekend orders had to be finished before the customers started to pile in. Those who came into the shop would take pot luck if they had to, but Robert was usually ready for any contingency and couldn't remember when the big refrigerator in the back room had been completely empty.
***
Cleo offered to help in the shop while Robert helped Gareth Morgan with his stuff, but Gloria was sure she could manage. Robert went up to the flat to see how things were going, and presently the harmonium, the only really cumbersome piece of furniture Gareth possessed, was pushed out of the flat door onto the landing.
"We'll have to wait for my friend Richard," said Gareth. "I can't move heavy stuff like this. Bad for my hands, you see."
Robert thought it more likely that Gareth Morgan did not have the strength, but said nothing. He could not get the harmonium down the stairs by himself and Gareth Morgan was more of a hindrance than a help when it came to anything practical.
"When is he arriving, Gareth?"
"He should be here by 10. He was planning to leave Swansea very early."
"That's wise of him. I see you have quite a lot of stuff. Where did it all come from?"
"I had a few bits in store at my old lodgings. I got Phyllis to help me get them here. She's a strong girl and was willing to help in those days."
Did Robert detect a note of nostalgia there? Typical of Gareth Morgan to get someone else to do the work. His mother had probably done all the lifting in the old days to save her precious son's delicate hands from damage.
***
To Robert’s relief, Gareth seemed to have accepted the recent estrangement from Phyllis (or hadn't realised she had ditched him) and was now clearly excited about going home to mother.
Richard arrived shortly after ten in the removal van, a transporter that had seen better days. Richard had also seen better days. He was short and stocky, with puffy cheeks, a lumpy red nose and a huge paunch. The drive had made him sweaty and thirsty. Only when he had fed his avoirdupois on a large bottle of ale that Gareth handed to him, and had wiped his brow on the corner of his grubby green sweatshirt, was Richard willing to help with the move.
***
The first part of getting Gareth’s possessions into the van consisted of a dramatic descent bearing the harmonium, in which Robert took the weight, Richard held on to the top end and Gareth stood by giving instructions from a safe distance and telling them not to damage it. He flexed his organ-playing fingers in desperation.
"I can't drive back with you after all, Richard," Gareth told him. "I've got to get my car to Wales. I thought my girlfriend would have time, but she's too busy," he fabricated.
Robert went into the back room to chuckle at that little swindle. No point in aggravating the situation by calling Mr Morgan to order. It really didn't matter where Phyllis was. The main thing was that Gareth Morgan would soon be sitting in his ancient Morris with the crocheted sun blinds, crouched low behind the steering wheel on a driver's seat that had long since said farewell to its springs, and buzzing along the country roads to Wales, avoiding any motorways and as many dual-carriageways as possible. The two Welsh pals would career off home bearing their precious load, and go to the local pub that same evening. Richard would tell everyone that Gareth had an English girlfriend. And wasn’t that simply amazing? A few beers later, Gareth would have been reinstated as one of the lads.
By 11 a.m. everything was stored in the van. Edith Parsnip and the vicar turned up to say goodbye and Edith looked tearful. Mr Parsnip was, according to his own admission, severely hurt and bruised from Mr Morgan's refusal to take a part-time contract with half the salary. Edith had argued that they would never get a better organist, but the vicar was adamant. He insisted that if he didn't cut costs, they would all be jobless and homeless before they could turn round. If he also had an ulterior motive for letting Mr Morgan go, he did not mention it.
***
So Edith was about to lose what she loved best: Mr Morgan's splendid playing when he practiced at the big old organ while she hid motionless and almost breathless behind a column to listen in. She had argued that now they had nearly enough funds to recondition the instrument it was not going to be played any more. Her pleading in all directions had fallen on the vicar’s deaf ears, and if Mr Parsnip suspected that Edith had a soft spot not only for the organ playing but also for the player, he did not let on. The vicar was not for turning. There was nothing left but for Mr Morgan to wash his hands of Upper Grumpsfield, Phyllis and Edith.
Presently the two vehicles moved off. The little group of self-styled well-wishers stood and waved till the little procession had disappeared.
***
"That's that," said Robert, going back into the shop.. "Good riddance to the worst tenant ever. Gloria, you can move in now."
"All in good time, Robert. I'm going to give the place a scrub and a coat of paint first. You will help, won't you?"
Cleo, who had not been able to resist witnessing the departure of Gareth Morgan, stood by in wonder. Poor Robert. They did lead him a dance, she and her mother.
***
Later, while Robert delivered the home orders, Gloria and Cleo cleaned up the shop ready to close for the weekend.
"Are you serious about the decorating?" Cleo wanted to know.
"Sure," replied Gloria. "It's only one day's work for the three of us."
"Four. I'll get Colin to help," said Cleo, and Gloria nodded in agreement. She had thought Cleo would suggest Gary. She liked him, but thought it would make life more complicated if he was around.
Cleo's mobile rang. Colin’s timing was impeccable.
"I've been stood up by that secretary woman, Musgrave," he said. "I'm going round to the agency to check up on her. Could she be in danger?"
"I doubt it, Colin. I don't think the agency is involved in anything criminal. It's the employees who jump on the gravy trains, but they are only interested in the perks: money, new clothes, jewels and stuff. I doubt if your Miss Musgrave is involved in anything of the kind."
"You may be right."
"Find out why she didn’t turn up. Chat her up next time.”
“Next time?”
“We need more information on Silver, Colin.. All in the line of duty.
We’ll need Musgrave as a witness to his escapades. She sounds the kind of person who knows everything and will be flattered to be asked. If you were to drop the name Burton, she might even know something about him. His name crops up so often, I don’t think he can have been hiding."
"You're the boss, Cleo."
“Oh, and before I forget, can you spare some time tomorrow to paint Robert’s flat before Gloria moves in?”
“I’ll have to ask Julie, Cleo. I don’t know if she has anything planned for tomorrow.”
“Forget it, Colin. You work hard enough without going into interior decorating.”
“I’m no good at it, anyway,”
***
Only minutes later, Gary rang. As usually, he crashed into his news without any preamble.
"Good news, Cleo. They've caught up with Salerno."
"Where?"
"On a platform at Crewe station, waiting for a train to Holyhead."
"He moved fast."
"Not fast enough, but he did not resist arrest."
"He really has changed."
"He'll probably change back when he realises what's in store for him in the USA."
"But he's not a murderer, and the security guards should have been more watchful."
"That's as maybe. But it's humiliating to lose a prisoner. Salerno will be punished for their negligence."
"I'm just glad it's all over. Now we can get down to business."
"You can. I'm having a few days off."
"Not now, Gary. What about the Burton schlimazel?"
"It’s at a standstill. You know that, and I need time to think."
"What about Mrs Temple?"
"Blissfully unaware that we're on to her."
“So you have passed on the information, I take it,” said Cleo.
“Yes, but only to Roger. He will act accordingly.”
"I don't think May Temple will confess to Shirley's murder even if she did it. She got away with two, after all."
"She thinks you are on her side, Cleo, but she is a main suspect in the Shirley Temple case because she has the only motive we know about."
"I can’t think of anyone else who has a motive, either, unless it’s Roger Stone eager not to have his affair with Shirley exposed,” said Cleo.
"We're watching his movements, too.”
“That’s really creepy, Gary, and you are taking time off!”
“Well, we’re not exactly watching.”
“But you want me to, I suppose,” said Cleo.
“Colin might have time.”
“I’ll ask him, Gary.”
“I'll be back here on Wednesday. We can compare notes then."
"If you insist on taking time off, we’d better communicate via Doris Morris."
"Good idea. Ciao."
Gloria had been listening to Cleo and immediately wanted to know who Doris Morris was.
"Just a joke name for a private e-mail address."
"Ah. One his superiors don't know about."
"Yes. Gary’s taking time off, Gloria, and I’ll have to work tomorrow. No time for home decorating."
"Monday will do. Don't you want to drive to Wales tomorrow? You told me about a woman who runs a chip shop."
"That's the real Doris Morris."
"Tell me about her."
"Him.”
“I don’t know any men by the name of Doris.”
“He’s transsexual, Mother.”
“Is he really? In Chicago they have a club for them. I took some line dancers to entertain them once. They were charming and very appreciative,” said Gloria. “So what can we do tomorrow?”
"What can you do, Mother? I'm going to work at the office."
"On a Sunday?"
"I have to update my files. Everything we do has to be documented and I have new material."
"I can type."
That would entail Gloria looking at information she did not need to see.
"You are going to work in the flat tomorrow, aren’t you? You wouldn't have time for an outing or to help me."
"Oh yes. I'd forgotten. But we are postponing the painting for a day or two, aren’t we?
“The decorating will have to wait till everybody has time, Mother. You're working for Robert, remember, so a weekday is not a good idea.
As if on cue, Robert drove up in his white delivery van.
"I saw Kelly on the way back from Lower Grumpsfield. He looked really depressed. Can we do anything for him, Cleo?"
“Are you sure it was Kelly?”
"I could get Gloria to buy some eggs if he hasn't eaten all the hens," said Robert. “Show her a photo of the guy.”
"Who's Kelly?" Gloria wanted to know.
"Wait a minute, Robert. Kelly is in a coma in the hospital. He’s not there to sell eggs."
"I'm sure it was him though. Maybe he has a double."
"I'm going to phone the hospital,” said Cleo. “If you are right, there's something weird going on."
"Cleo, don't read a mystery into everything. I was probably mistaken."
"We'll soon find out."
***
In truth, the Kelly accident had almost been forgotten. She wished Gary was around to talk things through. Why had he taken time off?
***
A few minutes later, Cleo was brandishing her cell phone triumphantly.
"You aren't going to believe this, Robert," she said. "It can't have been Kelly. He's still in a coma."
Now it was Robert's turn to point out the flaw in that argument.
"Or someone else is in that coma, Cleo. Nobody who could identify him has actually seen him since the accident, have they? You all assumed it was Kelly."
"If it wasn't, someone else was in the accident," said Gloria, as if she had just solved a crime.
“Could it have been a client, Robert?  I'm going to the hospital to take a look at the guy," said Cleo. "I wish Gary was around to go with me."
“Where is he?”
“Taking a few days off.”
“At least you aren’t going with him, Cleo,” said Robert.
“I’d prefer to,” said Cleo.
“Don’t spat, kids.”
"There's no need for you to go to the hospital, Cleo. It was definitely Kelly I saw"
“There is every need in that case.  If you weren't mistaken, that was not Kelly in the hospital, and if it was not Kelly, who the hell is it?" said Cleo.
"Maybe she had arranged something with a client," said Robert.
"What kind of client?" Gloria wanted to know.
"He means the guy in a coma. Mrs Kelly was a part-time hooker, Mother."
"Another one?"
"They are everywhere you go,” said Robert. “Easy pocket money for bored housewives."
***
Gloria was gobsmacked. What sort of a nest was this place? Then it occurred to her for the first time that people might have seen her in that light when she shacked up with Cleo's father all those years ago.
"I expect everyone assumed it was Kelly's way of making extra money," said Robert. “I don’t suppose that farm of his makes any profit.”
"What if Kelly hired the guy for a different reason?" said Cleo.
"Not to kill her, surely!" said Cleo.
"What a cunning plan. It was his car, he looked like the guy and fingerprints under the bonnet would be normal," Robert reasoned.
“Bonnet?” said Gloria.
“Hood, Gloria.”
"But the guy in the car did not kill Magda," said Cleo. "Whoever cut those brake leads did that. And Kelly did not have an opportunity."
"But someone else could have," said Gloria.
"You could be onto something there," admitted Cleo, who did not want her mother to interfere in the case. On the other hand, she had to admit that Gloria had a point.
The problem was that the car crash was being treated as an accident. As far as Cleo knew, no criminal investigation had been installed.
***
As long as the hospital thought it was Kelly unconscious in that bed, they would have no reason to take any action," said Cleo.  “They would wait until he came round.”
"Kelly could have hired that guy," Gloria suggested.
"Good thinking, Gloria," said Robert. "That would explain why they looked alike."
"The perfect crime, folks." said Gloria. “A hired killer is lying in a coma at the hospital."
“I’d just like to inform Holmes and Watson that Kelly might have hired the guy so that he could change his identity,” said Cleo.” He would not care if the driver and Magda were killed. In fact, it would have been better for him if they both had.”
“What does your pat cop say?” said Robert.
"I'll have to get in touch with him," said Cleo. "We need him here. He can't just take a vacation with all these new angles to deal with."
"I'm going home, Cleo. I need to put the washing machine on. I don’t want to move into Robert’s flat with dirty clothes."
“There’s a washing machine n the flat if Morgan hasn’t pinched it,” said Robert. “I think we’ve finished here, so we can all go home. I’ll do the deliveries after lunch.”
"I'll get back to the office," said Cleo. "I've got to think some more about all this mess. And find Gary, if he’s findable.”
***
By the time Cleo had switched on the coffee maker and the computer she had reached a decision. She would phone Dorothy. Everything they'd been doing for the past few days had been harmless compared with the possibility that Kelly had deliberately planned Magda's death and hired an assassin to do it, and then had the brake leads cut intending the assassin to be identified as him. She knew Dorothy had not quite believed the arrangement between the Kellys. She would view this new angle as a serious possibility, but she would no doubt point out that Kelly’s presence in Lower Grumpsfield might be proof that he was completely innocent.
Dorothy had been hoping Cleo would invite her to brunch or even lunch, so she was pleased to have the phone call. She had kept away from Robert's shop that morning because she would have had no joy in giving Mr Morgan a good send off. After all, she knew exactly who would have to pick up the pieces. She fully expected Frederick Parsnip to phone her and beg her to play the organ the following day and had no intention of volunteering her services.
Dorothy had again advertised the organist job at the church to save herself having to play. She was a pianist, not an organist. The pedals on the organ were far too difficult to manage for someone not used to it. She wondered how organists with short legs managed at all. Hers were fairly long, but she still had a low average striking record.
"I think the vicar has clinical depression, Dorothy," said Cleo when Dorothy had finished relating her tale of woe. "But Edith is probably in the same state."
"They should get help," said Dorothy.
"The only people that Frederick Parsnip listens to are you und God, Dorothy. But his prayers to the Almighty seem to be falling on deaf ears these days and he’s just piled more culpability on himself for letting a perfectly good organist go."
“But at least it will get Gloria out of your cottage, Cleo.”
“That is unfortunately true.”
"I'll go and see if I can help at the vicarage," said Dorothy. "But not today. I couldn't face Edith's stiff upper lip today, and I'd rather like Frederick to notice how dreadful his services are when there's no organ music."
"That's a bit drastic, Dorothy, after all Edith has gone through."
"Most of it's her own fault. She shouldn't be so cagey."
Cleo thought the same, but now was not the time for a discussion on that topic. She hazarded a guess that Dorothy would not want to be asked to replace Gareth Morgan because her conscience would not let her refuse.
“I have something more pressing than the vicarage, Dorothy. We are suspicious about Kelly.”
"We?"
"Me and Gary."
"Gary and you?" corrected Dorothy, wincing at the grammar. “About what are you puzzled?”
"Burton and Shirley. They were both killed on our common. How and why were they there?"
"Coincidence. There’s no point in speculating," said Dorothy. "Without any clues we are all in the dark. I don't suppose there are any, are there?"
"Gary hasn't mentioned anything significant up to now, and we have to do something that should have been done straightaway."
Which is?”
“Identify the guy at the hospital. Right now! That was the other reason I phoned you. Can you come with me?”
"Are you at home, or shall I come to the office?"
"I’m at the office. We were getting Mr Morgan out of the flat with all his chattels this morning, so we started the day really early."
"Understandable. I’m sure Robert had to make sure that silly man only took what was his. Poor Gareth."
"Why poor, Dorothy?"
"Being jilted is horrible."
"Being jilted by Phyllis was probably a godsend."
"Even so..."
***
It didn't take long for Dorothy to get to the office. As usual, she had indulged in a round of baking and had the foresight to take a currant loaf and butter with her.
“I don’t think we’ll starve,” joked Cleo.
"Talking of starving, can you ask Robert to save me something for Sunday?"
"Sure. Any preference?"
"No."
Dorothy fetched the coffee from the utility room while Cleo phoned Robert. He would bring her something nice. Cleo told Robert that they were going to take a look at the guy in a coma and would come back to the cottage. Maybe Robert would want to start cooking for the three of them? He would when he had finished delivering.
***
"I think Shirley being found almost at the spot where Burton's body was found was definitely a coincidence, said Dorothy. “That little copse is a good place to leave a corpse. I’ve seen unwanted sofas there before now."
Despite herself, Cleo was amused.
"It’s only a good dump if a gang of little boys is not playing Robin Hood."
"They must have had a terrible fright."
"At first Gary thought Shirley had been abducted," said Cleo.
"He would," said Dorothy, nodding knowingly. "Do you know, Cleo, I caught him exchanging glances with her recently, but I had the feeling that she was avoiding eye contact."
"You never mentioned that, Dorothy."
"It was obvious that something had been going on between them."
"You never fail to surprise me!"
"Gary's a bit of a conundrum," Dorothy went on. "I bet he has an awful marriage."
"I think so too, but he won't talk about it, and now he's gone off duty for a few days. He says he needs a break - in the middle of all the chaos!"
"He can't cope, Cleo. We'll have to help him."
"You may be right. He doesn't even know quite a basic fact about Magda's death."
"I’m listening, Cleo."
"No one has challenged the identity of the man in the car who is now in a coma, least of all Gary."
"Not very efficient," Dorothy commented.
"Robert swears he saw Kelly when he drove past the farm."
"But Mr Kelly is in a coma."
"Is he? I think Gary assumed it was Kelly. He confirmed a description of the unconscious man over the phone."
"Ridiculous. Lots of men fit the same description. There are apparently only 12 kinds of looks altogether, so we all have many thousands of doubles."
"Millions. But the guy was in Kelly's car."
"Cleo, we know what sort of a woman Magda was. What if he was a client?"
"Or a deliberate look-alike planted to take Kelly's place in an accident Kelly knew was going to happen? Dorothy, something's staring us in the face!"
"So that’s why we have to identify him, isn’t it?”
“Yes, and I’ve only seen Kelly close up a few times. I’m not sure if I'd know him unconscious in a hospital bed.”
“I’ll take a look at the man, Cleo. I'll say I'm his only relative. They'll let us in, I'm sure."
"Would you do that?"
"Of course, and I’m too frail to go in by myself."
"Then let's finish the coffee and get going," said Cleo.
"Won’t we get into trouble for interfering, Cleo?"
"Why should we, Dorothy? It's perfectly natural for an aunt to visit a sick nephew."


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