Episode 7 - Rivals

Robert was relieved that Cleo had not gone off S.A. to investigate on Gary's behalf. It was mid-afternoon by the time the cottage and Cleo's office had been declared safe, so Robert got home first and was irritated to see a police car across the road.

"Can you tell me why you are observing the cottage," he said to the driver.

"Headquarters instructions, Sir. Escaped prisoner on the loose."

"Here in Upper Grumpsfield?"

"Yes, Sir. That's our information."

"Well, I hope you catch him considering he is hardly likely to hang around when he sees your patrol car."

"Orders from Headquarters, Sir."

He assumed that Headquarters meant Gary and vowed to give him a telling off as soon as he had unpacked the groceries he had brought in. What could have happened since breakfast? Cleo had been very cagey on the phone, as if she were hiding something.

Meanwhile, Gary had decided to pay Robert a visit before Cleo could get home, as she had decided to spend some time shopping in Middlethumpton after leaving Gary’s flat. Gary decided it would only be fair to give Robert some kind of low-down on the Burton case, Pam Nortons possible involvement, and the steps being taken to protect Cleo.

***

On arrival at the cottage in his little red sports car, Gary immediately sent the patrol car packing. How did they expected to catch even the most simple-minded prowler by parking a police car opposite the house they were supposed to be observing? If those guys wanted to play cops and robbers, they'd have to learn how robbers react to anything that could be of danger to them. They should use an unmarked car from the fleet of normal limousines, park well away, wear mufti and walk around a bit.

Wishful thinking. They would go straight to HQ, where they would decide they'd finished their turn of duty and could go home, mission unaccomplished.

***

Unprovoked, Robert told Gary that he was prepared to hang, draw and quarter anyone who tried to get at Cleo. Again, Robert thought Gary might have designs on her, but he put the idea out of his mind. Gary would hardly turn up in broad daylight if he was going to abduct Cleo. And neither would a convict, he reflected.

"We don't think the prisoner will turn up at all, Robert. But we have to take precautions, and you must be on your guard day and night until the man has been caught."

“Who are we talking about?”

“I’ll leave Cleo to explain,” said Gary, whose turn to be cagey seemed to have arrived.

"At least you've sent the law on its way," said Robert. "You might as well put up a notice saying 'Police watching this cottage. Do not stick around!’"

"Sorry about that. Those patrol cops are sometimes over-anxious.”

Cleo let herself in.

“Sorry it’s taken me so long. I had to do some shopping,” she called, putting her shopping bags down while she hung up her blazer. “What’s Gary’s car doing parked outside?”

“Ask him yourself,” Robert called back.

“Hi, Gary!” said Cleo, wondering what he was doing there. "Don't fuss, Robert! If Jay does turn up, we’ll see him before he sees us."

“Jay? What are you talking about?”

“Haven’t you told him, Gary?” said Cleo. “I thought that’s why you were here.”

Gary was sitting comfortably on the sofa. He shook his head.

“OK,” said Robert. “What’s all this about?”

“You heard. Jay Salerno, Cleo’s husband,” said Gary.

“He’s dead,” Robert said.

“Unfortunately not,” said Gary.

“Unfortunately? That’s the understatement of the year! What the hell is going on?”

“The warders at the prison didn’t notice that Salerno had absconded dressed in the clothes and carrying the documents of a guy named Joe Samson.”

“After Salerno had killed the other guy, I suppose.”

“No. He died of a heart attack. Ex and hop. Just like that,” said Gary.

“Jay climbed into his clothes, slept in his bed and was set free next morning,” said Cleo, “officially released as Joe Samson.”

That news was mind-boggling, but something even more important to Robert was troubling him.

"Does that mean you are still married, Cleo?" he said.

"Seems so. You can't divorce a corpse. The death certificate they sent me was just wastepaper, Robert. As far as everyone knew, Jay was dead, so I was a widow when we tried to get married, if that’s what you are referring to."

"But he isn't dead.”

“both your attempts at marriage were illegal,” said Gary.

“Thanks to Cleo’s husband not being dead after all,” said Robert.

“It’s awesome, isn’t it. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, Robert Jones,” said Cleo. “You didn’t tell me you had gotten married as a teenager. You thought you were a widower, but weren’t, so our marriage would have been unlawful if your wife had not turned up in time, Robert.”

Undaunted, Robert continued his tirade.

“And the guy has probably been on the loose long enough to swim the Atlantic. So where does that leave us?"

Gary now felt bound to intervene.

"The prison authorities did not provide us with the information we needed as soon as they discovered Salerno had escaped, Robert. I think they were so covered in embarrassment that they were trying to save face.”

“That’s rich!”

“As far as Cleo’s marriage is concerned, you will have to wait for official written confirmation that Salerno is still alive, and then Cleo can file for divorce again."

"What a mess!"

***

The house phone rang.

Robert answered it.

It was Gloria.

"I'm at Chicago airport, Robert. I’m escaping. Direct flight to London. Gotta put more space between me and Jay. Can someone pick me up at Heathrow?"

"What time, Gloria?"

“I’ll find out.”

Despite the gobsmacking situation. Robert took the phone into the kitchen to check that the cottage pie he had made earlier was not burning to a frazzle.

Cleo flopped down on the sofa next to Gary and put her head on his shoulder before hastily sitting up straight.

“That felt good.”

“What felt good?” said Robert, overhearing what Gary had said.

“Sending those patrol coppers on their way must have been very gratifying, Robert.”

“Yes, they were rather noticeable,” said Robert.

Cleo rested her hand absentmindedly on Gary’s as she stood up, but played down the intimacy immediately. She went to the table to start preparing it for supper. Gary got up to leave.

“Don’t go, Gary. Stay and have high tea with us,” Robert said.

“I shouldn’t.”

“Who’s stopping you?”

“I want you to stay,” said Cleo.

“There’s plenty to eat,” said Robert. “It’s my mother’s cottage pie recipe with lamb instead of beef. She always cooks for six.”

“How can I say no to that?” said Gary.

“Don’t!” said Cleo.

Robert went into the kitchen to get his cottage pe out of the oven and onto the serving hatch. Cleo and Gary just had enough time for a meaningful hug.

***

The phone rang again.

“That’ll be Gloria again,” said Robert as he went back into the kitchen to talk

“Gloria?”

"I’m leaving about now,” Gloria told Robert. “The flight takes about 8 hours - direct."

"OK. We'll be at Heathrow in good time. Are you flying BA?"

"I don’t know. Gotta go. Flight called."

"We'll find you."

Robert scowled. Things were going awry with a vengeance. Drat the detecting. Drat Salerno. Drat the Wellness Centre. Drat Gloria. Drat everything.

***

"I'll get us some coffee, shall I" said Cleo. She was glad of an excuse to go into the kitchen and thump around a bit. “Talk to Robert, Gary. I think he needs cheering up.”

Robert flopped down on the sofa and closed his eyes.

“I’ll get the cups, shall I?” said Gary, following Cleo into the kitchen.

"Who told your mother to get on the first available flight?" he said.

"She makes her own decisions, Gary. She didn’t phone me and tell me about Jay, though she must have known days ago. I would never have invited my mother to come here, even if I’d known about Salerno earlier. I can't deal with her now."

"I’ll phone Heathrow and check arrival times, Cleo,"  said Gary.

Gary carried the tray of coffee into the living-room and put them down on the dining table.

“Be at Heathrow by 2 a.m., Robert,” Gary said, consulting his Mobile. “That’s when the Chicago flight lands.”

“That’s the middle of the night. Planes don’t fly at that time.”

“They do if they have a permit,” said Gary. “I’ll leave now. Let me know how it goes”

"OK, Gary," said Robert, glad and sorry that Gary was leaving.

"Call me if you need me."

Gary left.

***

Cleo eventually fond time to sit on the sofa next to Robert.

“What happened to South Africa, Cleo?”

“They found the South African guy in Birmingham, and don’t ask me why he was there.”

“Don’t you know?”

“Up to no good, I expect.”

“I think I’ll lie down for a bit, Robert.  But we’ll have to give ourselves plenty of time t get to Heathrow.”

“Are you coming along, Cleo? You don’t have to.”

“Would you rather I stayed here and wait for Jay?”